The Book: A Novel Calling Page 4

  Where was my life going?

  Where were we headed?

  ∞ 5 ∞

  The Santa Monica bus heaved into place near a woman sleeping on a bench with her head tilted back and her mouth open. As I joined the queue I looked across the street at a billboard; I felt something wrong. I took a step forward and wondered what it could be. A pretty woman in a business suit was smiling at a handsome man across the billboard; nothing wrong with that as far as I could tell. Still, I felt uneasy. Something about it made me hesitate.

  What’s wrong with that damn picture?

  In a sudden shift of insight I got an answer.

  The woman’s sleeve from her elbow to her shoulder suddenly transformed into an eight-foot penis. Emerging from the subliminal, it entered the obvious to become the most dominant image in the outdoor advertisement. After this shift it was impossible not to see it.

  Now, it appeared like a monument to the adman’s contempt for passers-by who would without knowing it absorb the image. The ruse was meant to bond tracings of the primordial mind to specific commercial activities in the near future

  As I climbed onto the bus, I remembered the first time I heard a politician refer to his constituents as consumers rather than citizens. I resented it then, and now, even more.

  You bastards!

  I put money in the box and walked down the aisle passing a few vacant faces to an empty seat. I grabbed a chrome handle and swung all the way over to the window seat.

  I dropped my bag down at my left, and leaned up to the window, looking eagerly through my reflection at the woman still sleeping on the bench. Her mind was out to lunch. Her frail body lay upright on the bench like death in a red cloth coat. She mindlessly lifted her hand to scratch her nose and several people sidestepped to avoid her as if she had anthrax.

  Her complexion was rough, most likely from harsh times on cold city streets. She appeared to be over forty, but was probably younger than she looked. I wanted to reach through the window and help her somehow. The bus began to struggle abandoning the curb. I looked around at the billboard across the street.

  How could anybody do that?

  The trouble was I knew exactly how it was done, because I had done things almost exactly like it. If I had created this advertisement, I would have told myself the money was too good to pass up, if I didn’t do it somebody else would. That was the reason people who did that kind of subliminal advertising gave for learning to ignore the malice inherent in it.

  “Most people don’t notice things like that,” said a deep voice to my left. I looked up at a man in the aisle. He was lanky and tall, with a pleasing Northwestern sort of integrity. I thought he looked like a classic Hollywood actor, Gary Cooper, maybe, or Henry Fonda.

  He had a big strong face and a long nose with an arc that was just gentle enough to make him easy to behold. Despite a bald head with long side hair falling to his shoulders like a shower curtain, he still had a powerful presence. For no particular reason at all, I liked him. I had a strong feeling that he was a good guy.

  He nodded at my bag.

  I took it from the seat and he dropped down and leaned back. He said with a slow, relaxed sigh, almost exactly what I’d been thinking, “Most people don’t see that stuff. In fact, most people don’t see what they’re looking at.” He laughed. “Curiosity. Some people have it and some don’t. One thing I notice about you is yours is not dead yet. In this world that is saying a lot. It’s so easy to fall asleep. Most of us are locked inside symbolic consciousness; we don’t see what is real and we don’t even know it. Our past experience influences the way we act right now.” He laughed again, “It’s ridiculous.”

  “What do you want?”

  “You have a talent.”

  “Right, so what are you looking for?” I looked at him sideways.

  “You won’t believe this, but I’ve been waiting for you.”

  I backed away in my seat.

  His worn corduroy jacket had seen better times. It might have been expensive once, but now it looked tired of too much service. He seemed so comfortable I assumed it was his favorite piece of clothing. Most people would have chucked that item a long time ago, but he didn’t appear to be overly concerned about style.

  He scooted forward and wrapped his long fingers around the handle on the seat in front of him. “My name is Adam,” he said. “What is yours?” He put out his hand and repeated, “Adam Nation.”

  We shook on it.

  For some reason that I didn’t understand, I trusted the presence of this man. I remained a little wary, but staying on guard was merely a formality.

  Adam said, “I know how strange this will sound, but there is no time to be dainty. I have been waiting for you. I didn’t know who you were, but I knew you were coming. You don’t have to believe me; in fact, I’d rather you didn’t. I put my faith in the scientific method. I respect your right to think for yourself. Before you decide, just look and see. What did you say your name is?”

  “I didn’t. But it’s Jonathan.”

  “Jonathan, I recognized you instantly—as I said, I have been expecting you.”

  “Adam, do you have any idea how many nutcase stories are told at bus stops in West L.A.?”

  “We’re close to Hollywood, Jonathan. This won’t be your last.” He smiled and I thought of the last weird story told to me. For some reason people waiting for the bus in L.A. feel free to share their life stories. “I saw how you responded to that billboard,” Adam said. “You don’t approve. My work reaches in the opposite direction.”

  “I’ve seen those things before,” I said, “more than I want to admit.”

  “That is not the important issue now; the crucial thing is to know what you see and how it affects the mind.”

  “That’s the problem. It’s no fun to know what’s happening under the radar.”

  “The truth can make you sad, Jonathan, but it’s not bad. The real problem is not knowing what is really there. We need to know what is and thus survive. Emerson said ‘everything understood is good.’ I agree with that. It is better to know.”

  I thought of the radio in my motel room, and I said, “I have to admit, I haven’t been trying that hard.”

  “Being human is not easy,” Adam replied. “We emerged from a wild, creative universe, tasteless and cruel. That’s how we got here. But we brought conscious self-awareness into being. Let me say this. You don’t have to believe me, but I knew you were coming. I have been waiting for you.”

  I felt my back stiffen as I leaned away.

  “Jonathan, you and I emerged from a long creative process taking billions of years for simple life to show up. Billions of years later, physical matter now aware of itself will make a choice. Where do we go from here? Conscious beings have a huge impact on all life systems on the planet. We can no longer get away with letting things slide. We have to choose. It’s time to move up.”

  I laughed as he added, “Do you want to trust the future to an unconscious human race? What do you think made that billboard possible? Conscious, caring, responsible choice did not do it. Most of the world is being driven by unconscious choices. Countries are being run by humans who have no idea who they are. But the laws of tooth and claw have definite limitations.”

  He chuckled. “Today the human race is reaching for consciousness beyond ego. That is the heart and soul of what I’m interested in.”

  “The species is not doing that well.”

  “No, because it is an arduous task.”

  “Then, what do we get?”

  “Conscious evolution.”

  “Aha….” I said, wondering.

  “I do research, Jon. Take a chance. I can show you another world. It’s why you came.”

  “You know how crazy this sounds, right?”

  “Maybe crazy as hell, Jonathan. I don’t give a damn. I’m as clear as anybody you ever met.”

  “Ah, so.” I said. “So they all say.”

  “I’m not asking you to bel
ieve me. On the contrary, I want you to act like a scientist and look for yourself, see the truth and decide where you go from here. I think you already know the greatest change in human history is upon us. This is your chance to explore. No drugs. No strings. Leave when you want. The choice is yours.”

  “Ai-yi-yi! I was just heading for the beach.”

  “That’s good. Go ahead. But think about what I have said.”

  “But why me?”

  “You are the one, Jonathan, I told you that.”

  I shook my head and I laughed.

  “I can’t convince you of anything sitting here on this bus. You have to experience truth yourself. You will be very surprised. Evolution didn’t follow a plan or begin with human beings; it won’t cease to be if we are not bright enough to keep up.”

  “Oy, vey!” I groaned.

  “I’m talking about a new way of being, man!”

  “Oy!” I repeated.

  “It’s time to take responsibility,” Adam said. “If we let the planet die, we all die, simple as that. We can’t stay the same and survive. We have to change our worldview. Here is my card—don’t say anything now. Call me before the end of the week.”

  “Wow,” I said. “Nothing like a bit of banter on the way to the beach.”

  “Just call me, Jonathan. I’ll show you something ancient and brand new.”

  “You know how flakey this sounds?”

  “That is irrelevant. I’m serious.”

  “So were they all, Adam. They all were.”

  Adam Nation looked past me at a flowing line of shop windows gliding into our past. “Let me put this plainly, Jon. You have a talent I can use. If you find my work interesting, we will create new maps together.”

  “Like Lewis and Clark.”

  “It’s your call, Amigo, say yes or no, before this weekend. After that I’ll have a new place. By the way, what is your family name?”

  “Peaker,” I said, a little surprised.

  “Jonathon Peaker. You see? What are the odds of that? You’re my guy. Don’t say anything now. Just remember that you came here for a reason.” He laughed. “I am that reason.”

  “Such a lovely day in the neighborhood.”

  “I’ll be in a new office in Santa Monica next week and I’ll have a new number. If you don’t call me before the weekend, we could miss each other. I think you are my partner, and this is supposed to happen. Here’s my stop.”

  Adam stood up and reached for the cord. “Your adventure has begun,” he laughed. A few long-legged strides took him to the front of the bus, where he turned and looked back at me. “This is not as crazy as it sounds, Jonathan—unusual I admit, but not completely round the bend.”

  I watched his great bald head descend the stairwell. As he stepped onto the sidewalk a perky young redhead strolled by. He stepped back and waved like a character from a silent movie as the bus pulled away. I watched them both fade into a memory.

  I got off the bus before I got to Santa Monica, and I returned to the City.

  ∞ 6 ∞

  Adam Nation’s voice reminded me of a basso profundo on stage at the Met. His office was a large space filled with his books and his big presence. Peering at me over the thick black frames of his eyeglasses, he asked, “Why are you interested in this, Jon?”

  The top of his head resembled a recently landed UFO, but his face, framed by straight hair to his shoulders, was long and strong; he exuded a lean sort of Western authenticity that made it easy for me to trust him. I just did.

  Adam stood up and, looking too tall for the room, he walked around his desk and laid his hand on my shoulder. Saying nothing, he gave me a friendly squeeze and took a draught of his gnarly pipe. Leaving a puff of smoke in the air, he returned to a big leather chair behind his desk.

  He sat down and picked up a wooden pencil, the dull point of which he used to scratch the back of his head. I imagined a carbon smudge crossing his bald pate and I forgot the question. Adam pushed his glasses over his eyebrows and looked at me seriously, but in his eyes I saw traces of a playful aging hippy. A bit of rebellion still lingered in his smile. He tossed the pencil into a leather cup at the edge of his desk. “Tell me why you came.”

  “You asked me to.”

  “I know, but why did you?”

  “Why did I call?” I said, stalling.

  Adam merely waited.

  “The Greek Idea,” I said.

  He sat up straight. “The Greek idea?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “You know, the famous one: Know thyself. That idea grabbed me when I was just a kid.”

  “How old?”

  “Seven … maybe eight, old enough to know it was true.”

  “How could you know that … at eight years old?

  “It made sense to me.”

  “How so?”

  “The idea hit me like a revelation. It made me feel like part of something bigger than the time I was living in.”

  “Did you tell anybody that?”

  “What could I say? Nobody was interested. I was only eight years old, or even seven.”

  “How did you come across the idea?”

  “I heard it from an uncle, my dad’s cousin; he was a teacher of philosophy. He often came to our house, and my parents listened. He seemed to know something that made him really happy. He was the only person I heard who spoke with such excitement. A lot of people told me what to believe, but he said follow your mind, and go your own way. Since most of what I heard was nuts, that made a lot of sense.” I laughed, “I didn’t talk about it, but I thought he was right. He was the reason I read Plato when I was about twelve.”

  “Did you discuss these things?”

  “Everybody I knew tried to make me believe what they thought. I had to go to Sunday school every week, and stay quiet, like Huckleberry Finn stuck in church between the fat rumps of a pair of old ladies devoted to saving his savage soul from a fishing hole.”

  Adam chuckled and I added, “When I closed my eyes in that place, I was praying for a way out.”

  “I understand that,” he said.

  “I ran into my uncle’s idea again, in a book on Greek philosophy.”

  “Know thyself,” Adam said, “the inscription at Delphi.”

  “I feel a tingle when I hear you say it, even now.”

  “Like everything Jon, words are vibrations. If you reverberate to those words they still have value for you now.”

  “They gave me something good.”

  “What was it?”

  “My uncle Harry opened a new door for me. I looked through and saw a new possibility.”

  “Who knows who you are inside?” Adam said. “How could Mozart write a symphony at the age of five? How can some people be brilliant mathematicians and not know how to tie their shoelaces? Why would an idea from ancient Greece turn your head when you were just a child?”

  “I don’t know. It just felt right. I knew those guys in Greece knew what they were talking about. I could feel the truth of it. I found another idea in religious words that seemed to support what the Greeks said.”

  “What was that?”

  “Seek and ye shall find. That made sense to me, because I knew it was true.”

  “You see, Jonathan? You’re the guy. You are the one.”

  “Well, that—”

  “Don’t fight it.” Adam laughed. He took a long drag on his pipe. “It’s meant to be.”

  “I could ask how you know that,” I said, “but I don’t want to push my luck.” We laughed and I added, “I really loved Socrates.”

  “I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “He loved reason,” I persisted. “He was fearless. He wasn’t owned by ideology. That was impressive. My uncle was the only person I knew who was not afraid. I wanted to be like him. When I read about Socrates I got a big boost.”

  “He became part of you,” Adam said, “like the Greek idea.”

  “I guess that’s my ans
wer—why I came.”

  Adam’s eyebrows went up. He stared at me like an eagle peering over a stranded field mouse. He let his glasses fall to the bridge of his nose, and he stared intensely. The sound of his deep voice was like listening to a bow oscillating on the bottom string of a bass fiddle. “Jonathan, I imagine that you have heard about entanglement, about non-locality and action-at-a-distance. And yet, you may never have contemplated the universe as one singular energy that knows exactly what it’s doing.”

  I laughed, “I probably haven’t.”

  “Some scientists today,” Adam went on, “are willing to say surprising new things out loud. I heard a brain specialist give a lecture the other day; he said he thinks consciousness is beyond the brain. He actually said that in a public forum. What a surprise! I might have expected that from a psychologist like Carl Jung, but not from a physical scientist. Things are changing, Jonathan. You’re a natural. I want to work with you. You have a real need to explore, and I can show you how. You can discover an alternate world, which is not hard to find when you know how.

  “When I say the word, you’ll be there instantly. You’re my guy. I know you’re the one. We are going to have fun learning together. When I say the world—I mean, the Word—you’ll find yourself standing in another dimension.”

  “Wow,” I said, pausing a moment. I looked at him and smiled. Then I said, “I’m ready.”

  Adam grinned as he said, “I knew you were a divine kook the minute I laid eyes on you.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “That’s exactly what I meant. This will be easy. No machines. No drugs. No strings. Just you and me. When I say the word, you will go this time, but I have already been there.”

  “You said easy. How dangerous is this?”

  “Everything you see may not be familiar, but it will be a resource. Remember that you are the one making choices and everything will be fine.”

  “Is there any downside?”

  “Things can get dramatic and threatening, but everything there is for you; your life won’t really be in danger, so don’t let appearances deceive you. You’ll be there to learn and experience how it is. I’ll say the word and when you arrive in an alternate universe trust your intuition and your curiosity. Take what you get and enjoy it. Your biggest surprise will be that you won’t want to come back.”